Hello to all my LJ peeps. I hope you're all enjoying life these days.

This has to be quick, but I just wanted to let some of you know that I'm here. Alive. Just terribly busy with no time for such shenanagans as LJ. Not that it's a shenanagan. (I used to work with this guy at my Starbucks back in STL who used that word all the time, but would only say it in the "ladies man" voice. It was incredibly hilarious. In fact, you, at home reading this, try it right now. Ah. See how funny it is?) Au contraire, LJ is a highly important tool of communication through which I am about to communicate my annoyance at certain people/things/situations.

So, here's the dealio: I'm really f-ing tired of seeing MY rainboots all over this frickin' campus. I'm not being facetious. I really did have these rainboots first. I saw them at Target *months* ago and I thought "Wow, how ugly and tasteless these rainboots are! But alas, they will keep my feet warm and dry and are only $8.99. Sold." And as I lugged the rainboots home that fateful day, I was for certain that I would be one of, oh, maybe 4-5 people who would actually be caught dead on such a stylish campus in these ugly-ass boots.

Boy, was I wrong.

Now everytime it rains (or even if it's just cold) I see them on other girls, not once or twice a day, but literally ANYTIME I STEP OUTSIDE TO GO ANYWHERE. They're everywhere. On sorostitutes, on musicians, on hippies. It's like these boots transcend the boundaries of style in a way I've never before seen. But the thing that annoys me the most is that these girls look at ME with these faces like "Honey, I had those boots before you, so stop tryin' to act all cool and shit." I just wanna smack these bitches. They have absolutely NO idea that I was the original trendsetter. And besides, I wasn't even trying to set a trend... which is what makes it so trendy!



You're probably thinking, "Yeah, those are totally cute. I would totally wear them. In fact, how could anyone NOT like these boots???" This is because they've already been integrated into society via 1,000s of college women. Trust me, if you had walked up to them on a sale rack in Target sometime last fall, you would have just kept on walkin'. Two seasons have since passed and somehow they've transformed into the brainchild of a penniless, wet-footed girl in Southern Indiana - off of the sale rack and onto the streets of a college campus near you.

There's this girl that I worked with at Starbucks last week who, everytime she referred to Spring Break, was calling it "SB07" in a really Valley Girl kind of way. Needless to say, I loved it and can't stop calling this week SB07omglikewhoa!!!

I don't know about the rest of you, but my SB07 has been pretty f-ing boring... but GRRREAT. In fact, I think I needed a boring SB07 more than anything else. The last week of school was, well, weird and stressful. I don't feel like getting into the whole story of my life, but suffice it to say that the following is a *partial* list of the goings-on from this past week. I've...

a.) fallen down a flight of stairs,
b.) eaten leg of lamb,
c.) played a marathon game of Scrabble in which I lost,
d.) left my keys hanging in the door of my car for an entire day,
e.) balanced two jobs, school work, accompanying, and practicing (wait, I always do that...) and,
f.) had two (or three?) breakdowns. Crying included.

Yeah. It was a really weird and stressful week.

Anyway, I didn't even know what I was going to do for SB07 until the whole Key Fiasco happened, at which point J told me that maybe I should just go home and get some much needed R&R. So, here I am, sitting in Eureka's new St. Louis Bread Co. (that would be Panera for all you non-STL people), shamelessly using the free wireless and sipping on a House Latte (so good!) Actually, I'm inhaling the latte - it's my first coffee of the day. And, notice the time... it's 4:46pm. Go me! (Well, I'm not counting the 2 cups of half-caf I had this morning.) Yeah. So people-watching in the Eureka Bread Co. is interesting. It's totally bringing me back to my roots. Did I mention that I pretty much despise my roots?

Eureka, Missouri (p.s. that's where I've lived since age 2) is a classic example of "Midwestern Small Town Suburbia." MSTS is an affliction upon the little suburbs of any large Midwest city that can best be described by one or more of the following: 1. an innate and everlasting connection to the town's only high school, 2. an overwhelming, constant feeling that you will run into people that you went to this high school with and you'll have to find some way to interact without being too awkward, 3. an attitude of superiority over other MSTS towns, 4. a preference for driving obnoxious gas-guzzling vehicles with fake plates and bumper stickers that say things like "Gas Suckin', Ass Haulin'" and 5. a tendency towards Catholicism, but most of all, an unwavering support of our troops and of our fearless leader, Dubya.

Joy.

Still, it's home. And boy am I glad to be here for a few days.

First things first. If you haven't already watched the video about "Cannabis Granny" on CNN.com today, go do it. It's hilarious.

Second-of-ly, I'm alive and kickin'. Well... sort of. I had a minor breakdown last night (for the first time since leaving Oberlin, which, if I may say, is pretty fucking amazing) and it was over a really silly thing. I had a test this morning at 8:40am and I lost all of my study materials around 11pm last night - before I had even started studying. So I guess it's a situation that warrants some *slight* panicking. But with me (and Kira and Michael can DEFINITELY attest to this), you either get a crazy panic fest, or you get nothing. So I proceeded to do my whole "I'd-rather-slit-my-wrists-and-bleed-to-death-than-try-to-find-my-study-materials" thing and then started crying and feeling so sorry for my poor, pathetic, whiny, forgetful self. And of course, when I finally decided to snap out of the panic fest and take action, I remembered EXACTLY where they were. I had left this huge packet of papers in the bathroom at the music school on top of the paper towel dispenser. Bingo.

What ensued was a strange event in which Michael, Kira, and Megan ventured to the music school in Megan's car to rescue the study materials while Megan was not wearing panties. I was, however, wearing a ratty gray long sleeved t-shirt with my brown puffy vest, really super-thin pajama pants with hearts that showed off my ass REALLY...um...clearly (and that gave me a constant wedgie according to Michael), and my purple and pink striped rainboots - no socks, underwear, or bra. It was kind of the most amazing looking spectacle you'll ever see. I am not ashamed.

I don't know why, but looking at the word "panicking" is making me hungry for pancakes. Waffle House, anyone?

I'm a little crazy right now. It's getting bad, like, to the point of inappropriate. I don't think any of my students take me seriously anymore. Actually I don't think my students have ever taken me seriously, but that's another story. I suppose they like me, and at the very least, think I'm "cool." But anyway, that's not the point of this post. The point is that I kind of hit bottom last night around 2:00am. I was studying for an exam that I had this morning (it was a really hard exam, btw) and all of a sudden this guy IMs me. I recognize the screenname b/c it was from the same guy that had sent me a Facebook message earlier in the day. Just some random 30-year-old student. OK, so this is not the first random Facebook/IM stalker I've ever had...not by a long shot. But usually I immediately block their IMs or delete their Facebook messages without replying. For some reason (it was the Laundromat, I swear) I actually felt the desire to talk to this one. And so I did. For a long time. Thus postponing my studying (which I desperately needed to do) for a least an hour (maybe more) just to chat with some creepo guy who was hitting on me even though, according to Facebook, he has a girlfriend.

As weird as this may sound, though, it was actually a good conversation. Mostly because I just got to vent about the frustrations in my life to someone who doesn't know about me at all, but who nonetheless seemed quite interested in listening. I mean, does it get any better? I don't think so. I suppose I could have used more sleep and study time, but the test still went fine (because, let's face it, I'm a genius - especially when it comes to writing fiction.)

Anyway, I told a student that I had this morning all about the online conversation with the strange guy. And yesterday I told a student that I was totally smoking crack (I'm not) and that it's okay to be an alcoholic in your late-teens, early-twenties. And yeah, see what I mean by the inappropriate stuff?

It all comes down to the fact that I had to do my laundry at a laundromat on Sunday (Superbowl Sunday, no less!) and I don't know what it is, but I can't stand them. Can't. Stand. Them. I spent upwards of $12 just to do approximately three loads of laundry. And stuff wasn't even completely dry. And some red colored shit got all over my one decent pair of khakis. And I lost a brown knee-high stocking. That was my only pair of brown knee-highs, damnit. WHAT WILL I DO WHEN I WEAR BROWN OR KHAKI-COLORED SLACKS??? I'm pissed. I should not have to do laundry at a laundromat when I am in a relationship with someone who owns a washer and dryer.

At least Jess was there to help me start the loads. And Michael Franti was there (on my iPod) to help me fold them. I'm kind of really into this guy lately --> props to my brother for this one.

--

it's not about who you love
it's all about do you love...

I am really, really, REALLY missing Oberlin right now. Everything about it. The good, the bad... even the ugly. This is terrible. Why all of a sudden this nostalgia?

I miss all of my old friends.
I miss both of my shitty apartments in 137 Elm.
I miss the boys across the hall and their shitty apartment.
I miss Lil' Bratz in the bathtub. And the guy that put them there.
I miss my old piano teacher.
I miss Robertson 369.
I miss the Con Lounge. And the Con Library.
I miss being a "connie."
I miss the Oberlin lingo, in general.
I miss the parties and getting busted and having to go to J-Board.
Not really.
I miss dishonoring the Honor Code.
I miss Tappan Square. And doing bad things in it.
I miss Kira's balcony.
I miss the freedom of Winter Term.
I miss the Feve. And Black River. And Java Zone. (Again, not really on that last one.)
I miss all of the amazingness that was Senior Week.
I miss the ultra-liberal atmosphere.
I miss the albino squirrel(s).

I really hope a good night's sleep will cure this evil nostalgia bug.

I would just like to say, for the record, that I have the best freakin' family in the world. Seriously.

The other day I called my mom (or she called me, one or the other, I suppose it's irrelevant at this point) and somehow we got on the topic of money...and how I don't have any. And it's not that I've been wasting money (like I've had a tendency to do in the past) because I definitely have not. I just have gazillions of bills - probably upwards of $3,000 coming due at the end of the month - and I am constantly working at my two jobs and it's gotten to the point where I can't afford to buy groceries so I've eaten whatever processed boxed shit is left in the apartment (like mac & cheese) for every goddamn meal this entire month. (Except whenever Kira makes something delightfully delicious, of course.) Yeah. So, I was inadvertently saying all of this to my mother and I guess it kind of freaked her out. The thing is, I wasn't even telling her all this as a desperate plea for money because I know that my parents don't have enough to give me. But nonetheless, she said she'd see if there was anything she could do. Of course, I'm thinking this means I'd maybe get $100 check in the mail - helpful, but hardly scratching the surface. Instead, my mom calls me this morning and says that she's "rallied the forces" and between my grandmother and great aunt (my only two surviving family members besides the immediate), they were able to scrape up $1,500 to send me. I was like, WTF???! Totally unexpected. Totally awesome. I am so lucky I have these people to save my ass.

On second thought, maybe the bills can wait...I see an iPhone in my future... (OK, totally joking. But you gotta admit, those iPhones are pretty sweet.)

My boyfriend *finally* got back into town yesterday. I'm happy. It was so good to see him, even if the reunion was temporarily clouded by ridiculously high levels of decibels. (You had to be there, trust me.) We're making dinner tonight and I'm gonna give him his b-day present. I hope he likes it...

For the first time in...I don't know how long...I am waking up this morning with no place to be. Which is definitely cause for celebration. So, I thought I'd do something special and make a big breakfast for myself. Big mistake. Just tried to cook pancakes on a skillet instead of a griddle (this shouldn't be so hard, right? wrong.) and now my kitchen is completely full of smoke. Actually, everywhere is full of smoke. Hopefully I'll survive to tell my kids about it.

I also wanted to take the opportunity to make my post from last night "friends only" before certain non-friend readers had the chance to read things that they probably shouldn't. Luckily, I achieved (I think) and only Kira has thus far read, or at least commented, on the post. By the way, Kira, of course YOU are excluded from said comments! I was more referring to random people that I didn't know and/or care about. It was a very bitter thing to say. I'm sorry... :)

This smoke is really getting to me. Time to take action.

So much for the return of my typing fingers, huh? At this rate, I'll have about 12 posts logged by the end of '07. Which would be really lame. New Year's Resolution #1: Write in your LJ, woman!

Anyway, Happy New Year to all of you. All seven of you. Hope your New Year's celebration was more exciting than mine. Basically, I spent it alone on my couch, completely drunk off my ass, watching season two of The Office. (And laughing way too hard at jokes that weren't all that funny.) In addition to consuming what felt like an entire six-pack Great Lakes Christmas Ale, I think I might have eaten an entire frozen pizza as well, but I'm not sure. Scary.

So... yeah, my original party plans didn't quite work out as expected, but it was fine. It actually gave me the opportunity to either answer or return all of my phone calls (which, if you know me at all, I never do.) I had some nice catching-up convos with lots of close friends. Including one who actually forced me into staying on the line with him until close to midnight, when I otherwise would have passed out around 10:30. What a guy. I miss him.

In all honesty, I'm still adjusting to the fact that 2006 is completely over. It was a turbulent year for me, to say the least. Well, the first half was turbulent. The second half was too boring to be turbulent. But I have to say, choosing between turbulent and boring? I'd have to choose boring. That's kind of sad, right? New Year's Resolution #2: Find a nice balance between turbulent and boring.

Here are some things I've learned (or re-learned) about myself this year:
1. I really love playing the piano. Even if it scares me to death.
2. I will never own another PC.
3. I really, really like Imogen Heap.
4. I will always spend money on DVD box sets. Even if it means I can't buy groceries. Seriously, who needs food when you're watching bodies being dissected on Grey's? Not me.
5. I still eat, sleep, and breathe baseball during playoff season.
6. I like my alone time. But I really hate being lonely.
7. I can't marry a conservative, right-wing Republican. I know that's really judgmental of me, but...no. No way. Never gonna happen.
8. I love Oberlin, but it is so completely far away from reality. Indiana is closer to reality. Which is probably why I don't love it quite as much.
9. Teaching beginning piano makes me want to crawl out of my own skin.
10. I drink too many caffeinated beverages. But I love them, so it's justified. Right?
11. I really do suffer from the "grass is always greener on the other side" mentality. I'm going to work on that. New Year's Resolution #3: Be happy with my life as it is right now, because it could be much worse.
12. I settle too easily. New Year's Resolution #4: Don't settle when you deserve better.
13. I have a lot of guilty pleasures. Like clubbing and listening to Justin Timberlake.
14. I need more dogs in my life.
15. I look better with straight hair than curly hair. It's official.

There you have it. Me in a nutshell. I still have two brothers, two dogs, one roommate, a boyfriend, and lots of credit card debt.

I just haven't been in the writing mood lately. Dunno why. Guess I just don't feel like I have anything to say about my life worthy of an esteemed LJ post. Maybe I just need to warm up a bit. Lalalalala... GOULET!

OK. Much better. And if you don't know who Goulet is, well, that's just plain sad.

So it's 11:57PM and I'm in my AI office. Not that you can even call it an office... it's more like... an "office." It's this shitty little room where I teach all my lessons - and I have a key so I can practice in it whenever I want, as late as I want, which is pretty nice I suppose. That's why I'm here right now. I'm practicing for tomorrow's lesson. Or at least, I am attempting to practice for tomorrow's lesson. Oh. Now it's 12:01AM. Today's lesson. Lovely.

Life has been pretty good of late. I'm starting to feel a little bit Christmas-y, which is fun. There was some snow on the ground this morning (our first snow!) which made me quite happy, although the 10 degree weather I could do without. I'm busy as hell - my iCal for this week was a blur of blue, green, orange, purple, and red bubbles. It was extremely intense. I accompanied eight percussion juries on Tuesday, for instance. And that wasn't even the worst day. Today I was up at 8AM and I've literally had to be somewhere every minute for the entire day, including a shift at Starbucks this evening, from which I left and came immediately to practice. Late night practicing. I feel like I'm back at Oberlin again, or something. Except now that I'm an old person, I don't know how much longer I can keep up the pace...

Actually, in all seriousness, I appreciate the thrill of being extremely busy. I haven't been very busy for most of the semester, and as a result, I had one of my laziest, non-productive semesters EVER (maybe placing second only to my very first semester at Oberlin, where I first learned the joys of smoking pot.) Piano is finally starting to happen again. And I really missed it happening, lemme tell you. It's not that I didn't WANT it to happen, it's just that I seriously COULD NOT PLAY for like 3 months. Mentally, physically, emotionally... I just couldn't do it. And now I can. It's a good thing.

Now that I'm done being Martha Stewart, I'd just like to say that next week is going to be hella fun. I'm not going to say what's happening next week, because it's a big huge freakin' secret. So don't ask. But I'm excited. And a little uneasy...

I think I found my typing fingers again, so expect to hear more from me in the near future.

--

P.S. My new Starbucks is amazing. Come and visit. I'm at the West Side location (next to Lowe's, Old Navy, all that good stuff.)